"Loving yourself is an essential part of success, If you don't, you can never trust yourself to gain it. Would you really trust someone with your life that you didn't love? Well, if you don't love yourself deep down and embrace it on a daily basis, how can you trust yourself to get what you want? There is a big difference between loving who you are, compared to loving who you pretend to be."
Have you ever been asked, "Do you truly love yourself?" whether you have or have not, answer that question. If it is yes and you truly love YOU and not the person you portray the world to see thats beautiful. But, if the answer is no and you don't know who you are this post is for you.
I chose this picture above because at this point in my life, I had just figured it out as far as what I wanted to do with school, being a single mom with little support, feeling like I needed a man because hell, I didn't have anyone else to hold me down. But, it clicked. As I told myself "You girlfriend are all you and this handsome little boy needs! You are everything someone is desperately waiting for, but they can't see it until you see it. Stop being so hard on yourself mama, you're perfect in every sense of God's creation!" It took me a good 7 years to that very day to learn who I am and to love Me for Me. I'm always told I'm beautiful, I have so much to offer the world and a man but it means nothing until I honestly believed and felt that way. It was some hardcore acceptance of things by way of patience, time, finding out what at one point made me happy excluding what I at that time, thought made me happy. When you love yourself unconditionally and unapologetically, you don't need someone to tell you you're worthy because you know your worth even if that means no one but yourself can see that. You have a different glow and it beams on anyone you see including those who could care less about it. Pretty much contagious!
I believe at times we are entirely too hard on ourselves to meet standards of others just to feel accepted by someone or even your own community. Guess what? No you don't! I used to think if I dressed a certain way, talked a certain way and addressed issues in a way that over the years people became accustomed to, I would always be accepted. And honestly, it worked. Until I had my son I didn't realize I was truly giving those around me an image in which now I know was negative being that I was better than that before I became the fake version of me. Who gives a damn about acceptance from people who are there for me that day but, by nightfall they were no where to be found? Take of the mask beautiful you are elating just how you are without it!
Now, when it comes to men.. lawd when it comes to men. Haha. That side of self-love took the longest to learn. When you feel like you're missing out on "finding him" because everyone around you has that ever lasting relationship that by way of societies eyes goes from relationship-engagement-marriage-family, or those that the scenarios of they had a child by a supportive boyfriend, or got married and then had kids. Its hard to accept that hey, great for them but its simply not my time. Have you ever thought that "maybe God is placing that part of my life on hold until His and my relationship are solid, I know who I am and what I deserve and then a man of God can come around and sweep me off my feet." Because its true! I've been tested these past few months with exes resurfacing and even one asking if I want a child with him (really fool!?). I almost slipped back into old habits of pleasing everyone but me, gratefully I didn't because I'm comfortable in stating my needs (notice needs not wants), what I will and will not accept, ultimately knowing that the Lord himself will send who is meant for myself and son when He sees it's time. As hard as it is to allow someone else to control that aspect of your life, it truly is refreshing not to have that what ends up being a burden to worry about. Of course you'll be told you're crazy, your standards are too high and whomp whomp whomp. Forget what you're told. That's the biggest lesson of learning YOU. YOU know they're misleading you while trying to bring you down to accept what they want to offer you. Girl or Boy please. Move on and most importantly L E T T H E M GO! We are all works in progress, it's time you continually tell yourself that it's okay you're not where you are in this love place, but you will get there by way of loving the process. You deserve the best in all aspects of life.
Life is too short for settlements. Learn yourself including your flaws, work on your own foundation, pray while allowing God to handle it, and live life.
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